Atlas Balked

Monday, April 29, 2019

57. Geppetto and Watson

In this episode we talk about Vladito’s arrival (FINALLY!!!!) and GK’s love for him, NFL coaches man crushes, opening words from Kruk, trade breakdown, conspiracy theory, GK’s concern for Swag’s mental well being what was going on in 1994 when this league began, the Juiceless Leagues very own stat casts, Swag wonders if curses could maybe sort of be kind of be real, mystery listeners, self-serving trivia.

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Monday, April 22, 2019

56. When Strangers Trade

In this episode we talk about GK’s offensive explosion, the epic battle between Swag and Mikey, what a close week it was, trades across the world as strangers unite, Detective Swag breaks it down for us, bat flips and MLB flip flops, being trolled by Dusty, the youth in revolt, manager hit lists, and each potential playoff team’s achiles heel.

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Monday, April 15, 2019

55. Snake Oil

In this (shorter) episode we talk about Joe’s radiance, headphones in odd places, Swag being quickly humbled, Gregg renames Swag’s team, what our league’s gods look like, no-one is taking advantage of our discount offer, Tim is compared to actors and professional broadcasters, GK is annoyed about making roster moves, players in winter coats, why winning means something different to Red Sox management and Pirates management, voodoo dolls, and a trip back in time.

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Tuesday, April 9, 2019

54. The Trash Panda Mystery

In this episode we talk about the offseason moves (and they were BIG), Gregg investigates motives, Swag takes center stage in many ways, the dynasty aspect, the blossoming of prospects, Vladito’s tragic story, love notes to Bryce, preseason predictions, the Kama Sutra method of dynasty strategy(!?!?), is Tim selfish?, why Gregg likes the prospect game and why its a sad story, Joe is playing us all, a fight (!!!), Mike Tyson’s knockout, Swag predicts who wins it all this year, a mystery is solved, our first posey award winner this year, .

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Wednesday, September 26, 2018

53. The Balky Awards Show

Put on your tuxedo shirt and relive the amazing second season of this goofy podcast show.

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Wednesday, September 12, 2018

52. For Whom The Bell Bunts

In this episode we talk about J-Lo bringing the spirit to the show, the World Series winner, hope for an MLB team disqualification, a total lack of enthusiasm, a big trade possibility announcement and GK’s natural paranoia immediately kicks in, Vladito > Trout in one weird reality, why Swag is Swag, GK as a trade (very poor) negotiator, J-Lo’s game exposed, complicated math, and his refusal to talk about the handsomeness of men, GK’s family games - with mustache or without, why a Camera is more interesting than an actress, the big announcement of our Balky Award nominees, a lady of the opposite sex (?), panty risers, the literary connections to this very podcast, why its better to not talk about participating in this podcast, and why hosting this podcast is considered community service. Make sure to tune in next week for our end of season award show!

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Saturday, September 8, 2018

51. There's A lot of Ugly Catchers

In this episode we talk about the first round of the playoffs, J-Lo's happiness at seeing us, GK and the Detective get distracted for two weeks but still pull it off, some of our nominees for all HQ team, J-Lo's thoughts on not wearing socks, some baseball skirmishes (!), why Buster continues to earn nominations, Togas and Tickles, also, we delve deeper into the shallowness of the DH spot (as it pertains to HQ of course) and Tammy questions the impact our HQ obsession will have on our listenership.

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Wednesday, August 15, 2018

50. My Chiweenie

In this episode we talk about the games of the week and the epic clash between Pops and GK for the “who’s not the worst” cup, a final look at the standings and a rundown of the playoff seedings, a visit from the Pseudo Scout who is asked to wonder about Vladito’s bad wheel (which he decidedly does not do, dammit) and then, for an Atlas Balked first - we have the Psuedo Scout on with the Mid-ball Wizard in which they talk about a chance encounter of the two while each on a clandestine visit to Costa Rica for some reason (revealed on the podcast, of course) a quick look at MBW’s minor league stars, a new Posey award winner (this one might be the Posiest) and a quick side discussion about Yukon Cornelius and another gem of a celebrity impersonation by J-Lo.

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Wednesday, August 8, 2018

49. The Minotaur Mystery

In this episode we talk about Gregg’s dispute with the power trio’s loose use of facts, the scores and how Swag and GK have saved the best for almost last, Gregg’s new southwestern ruse, clarification about cream cheese and whiskey breath in the morning, walk in closets and partying with relatives by the pool, and another mystery that doesn’t matter if its true or ever solved because the question alone points to the truth (insight provided by Detective Swag - oh and J-Lo claims we all say horrible totally wrong with a quick impression of a famous jerk thrown in if you listen closely.

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Wednesday, August 1, 2018

48. Two-Time Award Winner

In this episode we talk about the fact that we are a Power Trio tonight, the craziness of the Bond’s division, possible playoff opponents in our league, Swag’s weariness with rebuilding while he takes us inside a crazy week of trades he made to start remaking his team, how we know the devil is involved, and history being made with a two-time award winner.

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Wednesday, July 25, 2018

47. Detective Swag Breaks The Case

In this episode we talk about the season coming into focus, how the Midball Wizard may have cast the wrong spell, playoff preparation strategy, the love of J-Lo’s bench players and his dismissal of Blondie’s greatest day, and Detective Swag breaks the case we all have been stumped by since week three.

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Wednesday, July 18, 2018

46. One Very Weird Game

In this episode we talk about Swag’s defense of ignorance, GK’s response to that ignorance, Tim’s shitty audio, and (FINALLY) we talk to Dreamer’s co-owner Dusty!

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Wednesday, July 11, 2018

45. Atomic Pig Turds

IIn this episode we talk about almost a tie, Swags lack of attention, GK’s liberal use of math, basketball fighting, new Posey Award nominations, a flip flop incident, playoff predictions, quirky pitchers, Courtney’s attorney, an insult to Jack, interesting texts from J-Lo and Swag, the infamous Atomic Pig Turd recipe and a bunch of other irreverent stuff.

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Wednesday, July 4, 2018

44. Beyond Sausage

In this episode we talk about an epic game at the bottom of the standings, the Dreamers ascendency, Lethal Injection’s repeat of last year and why it might not work this time (maybe), new Posey Awards, luck, and an interesting blind date.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2018

43. Trading You For a Younger Dog

In this episode we talk about the scores and standings, prospects with our prospect expert the Pseudo Scout, and break down a great fight as well as make a horrible game prediction that was (of course!) wrong. Enjoy!

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Wednesday, June 20, 2018

42. General Soreness

In this episode we talk about Joe being sparkly, Gregg feeling safe, the Harper curse returning, Joe falls into the Skype mainframe just like in Tron, a harsh assessment of Bryce, what a winning player may be, can Bryce make $400 million if he’s a jerk?, GK says its all Strasburg’s fault, why would a GM say such a thing?, Swag’s simple advice for the MidBall Wizard, the best of the worst, the bots continue to be jealous of Gregg, Jack fails at winning by losing, Chris made a trade (I know - can you believe it!?!?!), Jack takes us deep into a trade that happened in the BBBS Farm system, the fact that Chris doesn’t trust his brother when it comes to fantasy sports, and a big announcement that will be coming next week!

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Wednesday, June 13, 2018

41. Mid-Season Maneuvering

In this episode we talk about….look, Balkers, I’m not going to lie, this episode goes deep into the nooks and crannies of some fantasy baseball trades that have happened in other leagues, that should happen in our league, and that might actually have happened on the air during this podcast. We take stock of a couple of teams that should be making moves but haven’t yet. So if you are one of our casual listeners (no judgement), this episode may be a little different than some of the others. We are, after all, a dynasty fantasy baseball league full of nerds who do this stupid stuff for fun. Tim and Swag were sick and low energy, Lo-Key was rested and ready, and GK was stuck in traffic, so this one stands out for the fact that it isn’t quite like the others….and thats ok in my book. We’d also like to thank our sponsor Balker Beer for believing in us when no-one else did.

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Wednesday, June 6, 2018

40. The Bots Love Him and the People Despise Him

In this episode we talk about the fact that Joe couldn’t listen to last weeks podcast, why there is some question about the use of tissues while listening, Scottie’s comment on episode 39, why it’s not a loving intervention, stack ranking our curses and jinxes, what a combo-curse is, what a non-believer curse is, how Joe’s Sunday was very different this week, what a gangster sensei sounds like, GK is still fighting, getting trolled by an artificial intelligence, Joe’s run has slowed to a crawl, Gregg’s thoughts on the toughness of pitchers and why he was teased for 30 seconds on thinking they were, the strange similarity between a run from the bullpen and a second grade field day, how boring this episode is, some new contestants in the best hair in baseball tournament, Jay and Silent Bob, Joe promising to listen to the podcast, the Midball Wizard visits us!, what a mid ball actually is, trading strategy and Scottie trying to find the right time to move, why the Zombie team may have really hurt their chances because of last years actions (or lack of actions), the Juiceless Crew tries to rattle Tim, the role of Irish luck, and Mikey is doing exactly what he did last year, and why Swag thinks it won’t work for him, Scottie lays some stats down, and why the schedule is the true determinant of the rankings at the halfway point of the season and why the bots continue to rank GK’s team dead last even when he wins.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2018

39. Darty like a Pod Star!

39. Darty Like a Pod Star!

In this episode we talk about a required Public Service Announcement, Joe’s trouble with the mute button (ongoing), the scores, curses, another nickname is born, the standings with 42% of the season done, Chris is so confident he doesn’t care who is in his division, Joe tries to do arithmetic and then grabs another drink, Scottie’s dogfight attracts more dogs, Gregg’s lack of feelings, Joe puts on glasses to sound less drunk, why not to challenge Tim, getting advice from our HR professional Courtney, the economic impact on employee actions, who Mr (Devil) Rays is, Joe wants a chicken sandwich, why Courtney can’t remember a bunch of Rays games, Jacks horrible, horrible last week, and the mystery of the Dreamers.

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Wednesday, May 23, 2018

38. Tequila! And the Gallo Shift

In this episode we talk about Joe having way too many nicknames, the most lovable dictators of all, hate watching the royal wedding, there may be some cracks in Rearden’s facade, the curse stings Scottie again and create more intrigue around the wildcard, Gregg makes a bold playoff prediction, if the Dreamers have the staying power they need to compete, the Gallo shift and its possible fantasy implications, Joe gets yet another nickname for crying out loud, how Joe would not give up any of his wins even if his players cheat, a long conversation about the ethics of reporting PED use, Showalter showing everyone up, Joe digs up an old book from the 80’s from a basketball legend giving surprisingly contemporary advice to modern day managers, making radical adjustments with pitching staffs, and the ascent of slap hitter on base guys.

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Thursday, May 17, 2018

37. Curses All Over The Place

In this episode we talk about Joe being just a so so manager, Pops is better than Joe on this one thing, someone gets caught in a few lies, we aren’t talking about Rearden Metal enough, tension around the Harper Curse, The Philadelphia Experiment II are incredibly average, Swag is pumped about Baez and can’t stand Carpenter, Joe talks about his unique form of bar fighting, we still aren't talking about Rearden enough, a long and winding talk about the Gallo shift, potential new rules for the league, and still we aren't talking about Rearden enough, Joe’s handsome bot, poppycosh, confusion about who to root for in our league, are blowouts boring every week?, we tackle the questions around the systemic removal of violence in modern sports today, and a whole bunch of other crap.

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Wednesday, May 9, 2018

36. Is Anybody There?

In this episode we talk about dartying, Gregg’s level of commitment is reevaluated, is the Harper curse real?, Mazara is upset (not Mikey), Joe finally figures Gregg out, cartoon characters that describe Joe, new rules to make Sunday games more interesting, why no-one cares about the commissioner, the bots hate Gregg, Swag is drunk, why a 45-5 record doesn’t impress (Joe), more conspiracy theories abound around fake teams, corn hole championships, unpredictably disappointing, boy we really need some more guests, is anyone listening? Really? Seriously….is it really just the bots?

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Wednesday, May 2, 2018

35. The Midball Wizard

In this episode we talk about Joe’s neighbors, the Stockholm syndrome, the Pirate’s deft free agent move, a fantasy rainout, Swag’s ultimatum, Gregg’s lack of commitment, Joe has flipped a switch and everyone can see the Joe we all know, special guest Scottie, the soap opera season, a sound off segment, the map plays a part again, west coast sycophants, Gregg blows the lid off the conspiracy theory, one-man racketeering, curses die in trades (?), Joe is getting weary of winning, Scottie says he can beat you with his injured players roster, Gregg stokes controversy (I know, no surprise there), catch phrase generator, Bella joins us to share her favorite things about baseball.

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Saturday, April 28, 2018

34. Buddy Buddy Farm Team B.S.

In this episode we talk about the fact that recording on a different night is bad for us, the opportunity to concede, Swag congratulates Joe for his confidence, Joe takes a nap, wakes up, and talks shit, new categories on the stats page, everybody climb aboard the St Lo Cash train, name change for Tim’s team?, irrational moves, guardian ad litem, the map, the value of Mazara, team owners who don’t listen to our podcast, a deep analysis of a silly little trade, Tim gives maximum value (the same as always), the juiceless crew lay it all out there, a tape delay, Gregg admits being human and wakes up the Zombie team once again, we we play this dumb game, being horrible at colluding, Tim accidentally ruins Joe’s DVR’d hockey game, J-Lo’s real strategy exposed and his disembodied floating head.

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Wednesday, April 18, 2018

33. MLB Needs a Goon in the Pen

In this episode we talk about Chirinos breaks out at the worst (best) time, weather trouble, baseball fight breakdowns, a nice glove-dodge, how Aj Ellis is greater than Buster Posey, a new word, Gregg waxing poetic about nasty boys, Gregg hurts Margot, video in the pit, hockey style tolerance of fighting on the diamond, the benefits of such a practice, the Pseudo Scout stops by for a drink…..of a very special beer, we catch up with Justin, Mr. Magoo and the Columbo strategy, palm trees that look like drummers, why we are a better podcast than Justin’s other dynasty fantasy baseball league’s podcast, a tragic interlude, and a calm denouement.

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Wednesday, April 11, 2018

32. The Competitive Spirit Clause

In this episode we talk about how this episode is completely backwards (warning: very wonkish episode), Swag’s need for coffee, GK thinks Tim is a genius, the wetness of Tim and J-Lo’s teams, building for the future, teams windows, playing to win, psychological warfare, clarification of Swag’s interest in the league this year, a career year in 7 games for Jed, J-Lo missed a trade, GK’s hatred of poor Manuel, Swag goes all in….wait…no he doesn’t, J-Lo Sith, unwritten rules (again!…Yes, but it leads to something interesting….wait for it…wait for it…), the extended discussion about state control and the Competitive Spirit Clause (or alternatively, GK suddenly falls in love with the thoughts of Friedrich Hayek), Tim complains about the commissioner’s job, and oh yeah, we run through the scores this week.

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Wednesday, April 4, 2018

31. The Cream Cheese Incident

In this episode we talk about the fact that the games actually matter(!), Swag quits on this season on day three, Gregg does too, everyone hates the long week, losing to win as a strategy, Joe isn’t happy with Bellinger, why Scottie my be the first to have the competitive clause thrown at him, establishing the dreamer award, Gabe Kapler is an odd bird and he’s messing up fantasy baseball, genius or bum?, vacation on a balcony, the great cream cheese shortage of 2018, winning for the cause of justice, drunk eating, why Gregg was bummed out, but then remembers the best selfie of all time, the strangeness around the Villages, we discuss the big philosophical questions of our time (we are not afraid), getting hit on by senior citizens, Gregg’s tardy predictions, using a mallet, attempts to hex Tim’s team, everybody loves Chris’ team except Swag, Blaze’s book report subject, and a very bad joke done in poor taste...

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Thursday, March 29, 2018

30. Predictions That Are Surely Wrong

In this episode we talk about Joe not getting carried away, Joe’s strategy will be exposed, why our draft totally sucked, how Joe improves his spelling, a draft order scare, Greg’s lack of commitment, our review of pitching staff picks, why the Dodgers could be the key to it all, our review of our player picks, how Matt Olson may be reshaping our league, the power of parentheses, Swag playing a deeper game, pops surprises us with his savvy picks and confuses us with others (oh pops!), Joe talks a little strategy (can you believe it?!?!), our season team standings predictions, why a loser division may be the best one this year, the Dreamers might be really really good this year, Tim tries to intimidate (and fails) and then talks about his crush on Chris’ team and Swag is unimpressed, Joe again talks strategy (holy crap!), how Aaron Judge is the key to Scottie’s team reaching the promised land, the big boy division rundown, Tim makes bold predictions….listen and find out!

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Monday, February 19, 2018

29. Tim Hates This Episode

In this episode we talk about ranking our team farm systems, what peachy means, Swagger grades the teams, what Othani’s value is, Ken Griffey Jr. level prospect, JFBL ahead of MLB on prospect valuation, grade inflation, drafting Boba Fett, GK becomes a capitalist, who Swag says has the best farm system, the Pseudo Scout gives his take, why 47 Ronin is a mullet, Cisco!, Scottie gets full Chris’d, whether Chavis is a super stud or a super dud, why failure is good, who the Scout hates, GK makes a commitment, Robles is Buxton’s dream, slump busters, extended outtakes.

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Sunday, January 28, 2018

28. The Ghost King Reanimates a Zombie Team

28. The Ghost King Reanimates a Zombie Team

Our winter meeting.

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Thursday, September 21, 2017

27. The Catfish Hunter S. Thompson Chronicles

27. The Catfish Hunter S. Thompson Chronicles.

In this episode we talk about the Champion!, the Cleveland staff, getting hot at the right time, the best players this year, little league game update, aging overweight boxers, what we could have been called, yet another conspiracy theory, we were boring on purpose, negging people before you were born, underwhelming pictures, grandma’s antique angel, favorite memories from the podcast, the secret life of a corn hole addict, Tim as Neil Diamond, we still haven’t interviewed Pops, we interview Pop’s son Mikey (AKA the Champion!!), no superstitions, best rappers of the 90’s, our goodbyes.

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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

26. The Ghost King

26. The Ghost King.

In this episode we talk about true commitment, missing Jack and Joe, guest host Scottie Swagger, Irma vs Mississippi, poor Joe, doing a solid for Jack, laughing at the Dodgers, what its like to be a winner, preparation, why everyone should trade with Tim, watching way too much baseball, market stalls, Oregon beer snob(s), cougar hangout, we are big in Russia (!), and Finland (?), selling out is good, lacing, complements galore, ghosting before you were born, the ultimate ghost, a big heart is the problem, writing letters to the Pirates management, and another Priate’s related conspiracy theory

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Tuesday, September 5, 2017

25. We Are Always Wrong

In this episode we talk almost entirely about how wrong we always are, football season, talking like Shakespeare, locking Joe in the basement, giving credit where credit is due, Susan Lucci, ripping on Scottie because he was too good to break away from the beach in California to even talk to us, why this podcast is all about us, a solid lock on picking the future champion, in an alternate universe Joe would have been going to the world series, maybe Justin can get it right, a long discussion about a player move innovation and its connection to our league’s unwritten rules (this is a dynasty league podcast after all), Roller Derby names, a deeper and weirder connection to Chewlies Gum, digging in at the line, and traveling with your wife’s single friends

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Tuesday, August 29, 2017

24. I Don't Believe In Luck. But.....

In this episode we talk about internet people, feeling better, playoffs are fascinating, the original High HQ player equals five starters and a bullpen, why people should always trade with Tim, wow Ryhs (Reese, Riss, Rice?), the Cardinals finally let him down, Gregg clearly does not have his priorities in order, Chuck Nasty comes home, how owners deal with the stress of a playoff team, photo-negative superstitions, could another hurricane in Houston crush Joe's playoffs once again?, Seattle, The Arbiter of all that is Seen and Unseen, why Baseball is the future, pretty uniforms in the NFL, Joe's biological age vs his emotional age vs the age of his sense of humor, Aaron Judge's wax wings are melting, why Chris Sale is one of the greatest ever, an alternate ending (just in case), a quote mashup from Ian M. Banks' in his book "The Player of Games".

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Tuesday, August 22, 2017

23. A Dark Turn

In this episode we talk about squeaking one out, Mikey’s team is lit, Joe’s new strategy is working (kind of), no sympathy from Tim, nobody wanted to play Jack, we have no idea, fantasy advice is all sales and no substance, et tu Napoli, Carlos should take PED’s, walk up music, a masculine tone, Nordic horns, Moby in the major leagues, white armband stupidness, Angel sucks and Ian is awesome, are the games fixed?, Steve Phillips should pick up our protest because he owes it to us, we are held hostage, we are also lazy, why losing is easy, poor cursing, Chuck Nasty Quotient, talking to a major leaguer, the bullpen antics, thumbers, making adjustments, striking out Wade Boggs, teaching kids how to throw up and in and congratulations to Scottie and Mikey.

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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

22. Soft-Playing It.

Music selected and placed by DJ Purple (AKA Bennett).

In this episode we talk about the epic game that wasn’t, Jax Wax Pax limps over the finish line, the playoffs are set (!), the crew makes their picks, Judge is slowing down, Gregg is the mouthpiece of fate, old equals good, Scottie stops by again to cause trouble, the unwritten rule conversation will not die, Joe is the only true libertarian, trying to achieve to lose, what the smart play is for the playoffs, the definition of pornography (kind of), slippery slopes galore, eliminating the incentives to lose, Chris and Tim need to unite, bizarro world Jack Swagger, a budding bromance?, the connection between the bris ceremony and Scottie's introduction to fantasy sports, Steve Phillips is a thief, Woodstock 94, favorite T-shirts, losing your boots, stage diving, skinheads and mosh pits, one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer. Congrats to the playoff bound teams!

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Tuesday, August 8, 2017

21. Ice Cream or Brownie

21. Ice Cream or Brownie.

Dolphin call ring tones, five are left, only four will advance, Swagger breaks the playoffs down, history could be made with regard to Tim and Mikey, Joe wants to beat a Benigno, Swagger's vacation, overcompensation….maybe, misdirected curses, failing to house train St. Bernard puppies, chinos and milk, Gregg hates winning teams, to legislate or not legislate, social norming, unwritten rules in our league, is Freeman un-benchable, what does Dusty know about Gyrko that none of us knows, the current commissioner of Juiceless sucks, Gregg wishes Tim luck in this weeks game.

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Wednesday, August 2, 2017

20. A Bragging Poltergeist

20. A Bragging Poltergeist.

Special guest tweets, Joe says no apologies necessary, brother vs. brother, the Dodgers are awesome, the Cardinals staff is awesome too, Gregg defends Scottie, why Gregg used to hate the league, we did not back mask, the schedule claims another victim, is Jax Wax about to swoon, a scary win loss statistic, not really wanting someone to win a donkey, Catholic guilt, game theory, more game theory, Holy Jesus, will this game theory bit ever end? (apparently not), the Pirates staff are going to make a run for certain, why Jack is blondie’s biggest fan, Jesus Quintana, snake on a plane, gentleman Gregg, Oscar out of the ear, Tim and Gregg try really, really hard.

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Wednesday, July 26, 2017

19. Favorable Randomness

19. Favorable Randomness.

We talk about all kinds of stuff this week including two owners. You'll just have to listen.

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Wednesday, July 19, 2017

18. Godzilla Vs. King Kong

Proper nickname creation,parity in the standings, new blood sport division, who cares how you got there, champagne all star problems, is 10-9 enough? The benefit of Enya, Justin returns and offers dating tips, Joe is our sex symbol, pedigree matters, prospects huffing helium, potential team owner interview, G-Bone is Machiavelli? now that we think of it - the cost is double, similarities of the Dreamers and the Marlins, Swagger is (no surprise) all in, drunk texting, gif game, the Moscato gambit, true commitment, dramatic trades, Swagger is so gangsta, fleeing citizen, Sizemore, G-Bone does whatever it takes, a friendly game of corn hole, Tim loses on replay review, sayonara.

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Wednesday, July 12, 2017

17. Jack Swagger Fights the Gods

In this episode we talk about Joe getting lost early, weekly results, everyday is like Sunday for Blondie, winning feels good, a Bermuda triangle bench, Omission’s march, Altherr (really?!?), the best drug ever, taking photos of random strangers, texts and enigma machines, LowKey gets drunk, believing in luck, or not, Gregg the trickster, roster construction, the wound salters, Tim is due for a drop off?, bet on Bad Street in Vegas, the ball is definitely juiced, blisters, curveballs, Chinese balls, pitchers are pissed, the peak of the steroid era is weak, another stupid unwritten rule, superstitions and how they get passed along, USA vs the World, connections between Dante Bichette and Tom Gordon, Jack did his homework, splinter in the eye, Kim Kardashian explains the Universe, pagers, Jack Swagger - superhero, Joe messes up the curse and Portuguese curse protocol, ditch week, Chipotle to anyone who’s listened this far….

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Wednesday, July 5, 2017

16. In The Presence of Pure Evil

16. In The Presence of Pure Evil.

In this episode we talk about how the curse starts working, a weird trade happens and we wonder…Tim feels emancipated, a nickname is born, why it’s fun to win, our first look at the wild card standings, Joe’s vision quest, Gregg berates a customer service rep, The Juiceless League all star selections, buying donkeys, Adam who?, the launch giveth and the launch taketh, Japanese baseball tricks, mostly tweeners, Jim Jones vibe, interviewing myself, today’s rock stars, a new wrinkle in our league rules?, and hurtling a Hurdle insult.

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Wednesday, June 28, 2017

15. So You're Telling Me There's A Chance.

In this episode we talk about Gregg’s sickness, thinning the herd, poor predictions, Scottie’s confidence, Blondie is done, Ramirez is rated, Moustakas has arrived, born under a bad sign, Mikey joins us again, playoff predictions, tiebreakers, Jack is an Omission fan, proper curse etiquette, the realignment is working, backpedaling, the Braves are good, Adams was fat but isn’t now, flexible superstars, why Mikey hates Harper, Jack rants about Posey (again), Mikey as a podcast star, Elden is a badass so be quiet por favor, english judges, and Mikey’s Juiceless World Series prediction.

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Friday, June 23, 2017

14. Racing Giraffes in Business Suits

14. Racing Giraffes in Business Suits.

In this episode we talk about Happy Father’s Day, the no drama week, do Elden and Dusty listen or not, Mikey finally wasting points, Rizzo having high HQ, Joe is so very lucky, swinging as a way to stay limber, being bandied about as trade bait, something weird in baseball, Gregg is a Bellinger-like leader, the playoffs - RIGHT NOW!, Jack’s game within the game, clothespins, audio easter eggs for Joe, no-one should be conceding yet, un-American effort, the worst interview format ever, Joe not deserving some wins, the leading manager of the year for the Juiceless league, when do you sacrifice your season for a chance to fly a flag, not knowing who Lennon and McCartney are, Gregg declaring his commitment to team Edward and having footraces against giraffes dressed in business suits.

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Thursday, June 15, 2017

13. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

13. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner.

In this episode we talk about why Jack should be worried, why Jack shouldn’t be worried, that slacker trout, why baseball isn’t football, if the Judge be stopped, feeling bad for Yankees fans, defensive trading, Chris’ love of young guys, land of misfit Rays, chicken dinner, Wade hanging at the deli counter, Charlie Brown’s parents, why Tim is like Steinbrenner, Jack and Tim’s amicable divorce, and McCartney vs. Lennon.

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Wednesday, June 7, 2017

12. Most Likely To Get Shot

12. Most Likely To Get Shot.

In this episode we talk about why Jack and Joe are d***s, Pop's team explodes, tough losses, stealing wins, Christmas games, McGuire division battles, interviewing L.J. (owner of the Funkin' Punks), Derek Jeter is basically a legend, live trading(!), president of the PTA, new types of statistics, vampire power, why no one would bet on us as kids, mad whiffle ball skills, Pujolium, juiced ball conspiracy, four-finger bird, laundering mascot costumes.

“Solid Country Gold” - Shooter Jennings

“Sometimes" - Duke Garwood

“Thats How I Got To Memphis ” - Whitey Morgan and the 78's

“Way Over Yonder in the Minor Key” - Wilco & Billy Bragg

“Tell Mother I’ll Meet Her” - Norman and Nancy Blake

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Wednesday, May 31, 2017

11. An Epic Collision of Hair.

In this episode we talk about why it's not always sunny in Philadelphia, the merits of having an Uber account, is Mikey’s team gettable (?) Christmas morning for Jack, Gregg's first move as a billionaire, Zander’s in the Biz, The U vs. the ‘Cuse, play by play duos hating each other, interviewing Trout, the McGuire division is now seriously in play, 500 yard beer can shots, Posey is a p***y, Mikey’s influence on Jack’s roster, the difficulty of getting a Hooters girl, and again, why Posey is a p***y.

Follow Zander on Twitter @zanderkeanpxp

“The Greatest Shit Ever” - Spose

“It’s Like That / I am Complete" - White People

“King on the Set” - T.I. and Young Dro

“Donald Trump” - Mac Miller

“HUMBLE” - Kendrick Lamar

"$ave Dat Money” - Lil Dickey (Feat. Fetty Wap &Rich Homie Quan)

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Thursday, May 25, 2017

10. Pure Macho Bulls***

In this episode we talk about Mickey’s dominance, Jack’s home value, Tim’s team being a disappointment, interview with St Lo Cash owner, Bryce Harper trades, Tim Tebow and hot dogs, scouting teenagers, explaining to Joe what HQ is, Chris’s gift from Barry, the value of unsalted crackers, Brockmire’s girlfriend is actually us, information officer conspiracies, calling bullshit on unwritten rules in our league, caveat emptor, Uriah Heep (again…), bunting on Schilling, Johnny Damon, Bono, and fighting on roller skates.

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Wednesday, May 17, 2017

9. Pseudo Scout

In this episode we talk about parity in the league and Posey in our weekly review, talk to a “pseudo” scout, contemplate censorship, non-disclosure agreements, Billy Hamilton the super hero, the 20-80 scale, the truth behind a teams record, and the myth of Jeter.

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Wednesday, May 10, 2017

8. Life Imitates Television

8. Life Imitates Television.

In this episode we talk about everyone having a 2-3 record, breakdown a few impactful trades, interview the owner of Lethal Injection, Gregg hoping Vin is happy, drug busts, baseball doppelgängers, and a bunch of other stuff related to the price of pierogis, the importance of Uriah Heep, the Yankees and a (not too early) NL East prediction.

Music:

1. You're So Gangsta' By Chromeo
2. Epic by Con Bro Chill
3. Don't Fuck With My Money by Penguin Prison
4. Push by Madonna
5. Bury Us Alive by Starfucker

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Friday, May 5, 2017

5.The Art of the Trade

5. The Art of the Trade.

In this episode the four of us take a close look at the week two results, break down another in-Podcast trade, vegetarianism, the league division names, a new team name is born, and Joe Maddon sends us down a rabbit hole.

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4. The Weirdness.

4. The Weirdness.

In this episode, Jack returns to give his (not so) preseason predictions for the league, player projections up and down, breakdown of the Juiceless league player draft, and a meditation on the meta-weirdness of chronicling a league we are actually competing in.

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3. Fred Lynn

3. Fred Lynn.

In this episode we give our preseason take for St Lo Cash, dreaming on the Dreamers, Lethal's path to the the world series, Fred Lynn, and movies that impacted and shaped us.

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2. Beaten by a Benigno

2. Beaten by a Benigno

In this episode we talk about our preseason predictions, taking a baseball to the head, Heyward making Jack sad, Branch Rickey quotes, and an in podcast trade.

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Thursday, May 4, 2017

7. The Peter Pan Complex

7. The Peter Pan Complex

In this episode we talk about the bloodbath that is the McGuire Division, interview the owner of the Omission Commission, discuss the merits of rebuilding early in the season, and a bunch of other stuff related to twitter, PED's, team jerseys, Gregg's favorite Pirate and more.

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Monday, May 1, 2017

6. Take 6!

6. Take 6!

Altlas Balked Episode 6

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